Latest timing is out today.
Because the groupings are by results, everyone is looking at it to see who are the pros and the lousier ones in their groups.
That hurts, when im at the bottom.
Hearing how others comment that their grades are cui when mine is worse leaves me speechless.
Wanting to help but lack the knowledge n capability leaves me speechless.
Maybe that's the reason why i don't seem to have the courage to class part.
I think i sucked at everything, so why am i still in this course?
Trying hard to pull my marks up every sem but everything seems furtile
Would hardwork really pay off?

I thank GOD, for the peace that he has given me.
that i am able to rest and feel relax despite the heavy workload.
to be able to plan my sch work and tuition work well.
next wk will be my battle. the battle to decide my midterm grades.
GOD, please guide my way.

the definition of happiness simply changes with age.
remember the days when we are still wearing diapers, happiness is being able to be well fed and loved by our parents.
when we start to attend preschools and primary schools, happiness means getting ur fav toys or being able to join your friends to play at the playground.
when we start our teenage days, the definition of happiness starts to evolve here.
not only do we want to have fun with our friends, we also seek for material wants.
its the beginning of days where money would start to bring happiness.
when u start university, happiness involves a spectrum of things.
results, money, material wants, friends, good relationship partner, nice family...
the list just gets longer and longer.
but i realise that when one gets old, happiness seems to get much simpler again.
happiness at old age simply comes with good health.

so if happiness can be easily achieved, why are we so greedy to keep new definition to make happiness further away from us?
the choice of HAPPINESS is in your hands.

Ahh! So freaking stress!
There are so many things to do, yet so little time.
Have to revise my work before wk 7 tests come but I simply have no time.
Worse is I suck in coding and cat and these are the mods being tested! Zzz.
And I have to draw out so many things today. All the ct mindmaps. Zzz.
I seriously need a well deserved break after this sem.

IVE HAD ENOUGH!!!
GIVE ME A BREAK!
never felt so stressed before.
Or is it because im giving myself too much pressure.
But i have to pull up my gpa. I have to!
Argh! There's still so many things to do.
End of sem is still so far away!
I cant give up now...
What can i do?

15Hrs spent in sch today.
Lesson, proj, lesson, tuition then back to sch for proj again.
To think that this might be the worse week, its not.
Week 6 n 7 will be much worse.
With midterms coming in, proj presentations etc.
Life is never going to be easy.
There seems to be so many things to complete within so little time.
I think im used to loneliness now.
Maybe things get done more efficiently but I don't seem to like it.
Hias. Life always leave us with choices.
When we choose one, we have to forsake the other.
Why cant we lead a vibrant uni life?

It seems as though life only gets tougher.
Nothing seems to go as planned every sem.
I thought I could do well in cat, but I kindof screwed up my assignment one.
In uni, once u screw u a component ur scores would be badly affected.
But im tired of getting a b or b minus as avg score.
Why cant I get better grades.
Why does it seem so simple for others to obtain an a but not the same for me.
Why do I always screw up myself?
There are always a lot of why, but all of them are often left unanswered.
Looking at how others have aims, goals when they graduate.
I thought to myself, do i know what i want?
Actually no. Is that the reason why im not working hard enough now?
Maybe its time to think of what i want..
Life just seems to get tougher as years passed by.

Legs are suffering from the after effects of the run ytd.
Had great lunch with Jeanette, which is a great start of the day. :D
My tuition kid gave me teachers day present that's surprise two.
But after that comes headache, work...tonnes of them.
When ppl ask how many days week do u have. My reply would be three on paper but seven in reality.
Seriously can ppl don't be so @%#!?%@.
Meet meet meet but some meetings are damn unproductive!
Some just act smart, act pro.
Zzz. I cant imagine how im going to survive for the rest of the weeks!

Torn, demoralized, stupid, tired.
All these words describe my emotions now.
If I survive next week, its by gods grace.
If I die, it would be due to exhaustion.
Proj proj n proj.
Deadlines, assignments n presentations are all crashing down tgther .
I sense the stress, sense the sleepless nights and days without meals coming.
Again, the feeling of buying clothes come. But I promised myself I won't buy clothes.
The more dumb I feel the quieter I am.
Maybe that's why I don't talk much now.
Too dumb to speak. Hias.
I hate the feeling of uselessness' but its too late to give up now.
Endure. Im sure I can pull through this!

Doing class part still seems to be a barrier for me after one yr .
Had tuition with an old student that I didnt teach for almost a year
He was shocked when I told him I still remember the nickname he gave me as monster giraffe wearing specs. Haha.
It was fun teaching n bickering with an old student.
Maybe I've done so many tutoring until I've grown to love it unknowingly.
There are a lot of work to catch up this wk
Hopefully I won't lag behind because I cant afford to.
And I just realize psle will fall on the same wk as se n cat exam! Which means I have to start preparing real early before I run out of time!
I need to achieve the scores that I am aiming for.
Believe that I can. I can.