after sooooooo many days, mad is finally free to blog. haha
i've been busy during the x'mas week and ironically, im free on new year.
lols. tis shall be a long and summarised post of my life in 2009...

though the year is ending in another 8hr and 24min, i find that this have been a fruitful year...
starting from studying for A lvl, getting back A level result for cl n pw...
all the way to finally ending the A lvl...and enjoying my life working cum relaxing! >< i think this is the year wher mad went out most of the time! haha
still remembering last yr this day i was out with the mahjong clique...
watching movie, playing overnight mahjong, first time i played pool and where i lost my first hp at the cinema...


redcliff marathon>< the random clique. haha


sge award with olivia><


jiayan's 18th bdae celebration!


chinese new year with families=D


CNY gatherin with friends><


random gathering with xt's clique


jel n my 18th bdae celebration


my 18th bdae celebration=)


caiyi's bdae celebration


standup movement with slc><


gd friday musical with jc peeps^^


outing with cousin><


slc camp! =D


outing with weiting=)


kbox trip with jc friends=D


0820 sentosa gethering


osle chalet^^


2 hum 05 sentosa gatherin =D


drama night ><


church friend gatherin >< first time leh! haha


eileen's 18th bdae


wynee's bdae celebration><


qr's 18th bdae =)


family outing to flyer!=D


twin's 18th bdae celebration


jc2 phototaking day! =)))


graduation day 09><


prom night aka nytv awards!
me n my curly hair! =)


aman's 18th bdae celebration


malaysia trip!


clique gatherin part 1


clique outing part 2






















x'mas with osle




failed jumpshot with slc peeps at sentosa! =D


slc gatherin><

it has been great, having all my friends to accompany through 2009.
those wonderful times that we had, shall always be remembered.
and thanks for all the xmas present><
hopefully in 2010 i will be studying in uni, finding more friends, meeting up with my friends...and hopefully mad will be in long hair! haha.
if u are waiting for me to attached, erm i cn tell u it will be a long wait.><
haha! and for those friends attached, rmb nt to zhong she qing you!
one year has alr passed and the new one is arriving.
so forget abt all the unhappy moments...
be it failing exams, falling out of love or having quarrels with your friends.
like my old msn nick:
friends are like bra. they are constantly providing you with the support that u need and are the closest to you.
and i heard this frm fm 97.2 a few days ago:
a friend is like condom, always ensuring that u are safe and protected.
a good friend is like vigra, who constantly provide you with the energy that you need!
haha. funny and sick it may sound.
but the meaning is true.
without friends, i am nothing.
but with friends, i am everything. ><
dont be afraid to tell your friends that you love them! ><
I LOVE YOU BUDDIES! ><

woosh! finally free to sit IN FRONT OF my computer ><
been busy last week coz i was either in kl or in chalet...
the kl trip was awesome thanks to my three awesome friends. =D
too bad i couldnt stay for more days with them. haha.
but its good though, i provided the couple with a chance to spend alone time in malaysia ><
and through this trip, i realise that not only do i knw how to shop, i am also the most courageous person! =D
there was so many fabulous roller coaster that the 3 of them didnt dare to sit.
its so cool to just sit and SCREAMMMM! ><
i bet if jy was there she would sit with me. haha.
came back to singapore on thur and went for chalet on fri.
went to wild wild wet with my cousins and niece on sat.
can u imagine? i spent an hr playing at the baby pool with my 2 year old niece!
haha. i spent 6hrs in there to sunburn myself=(
last week i was like in water and amusement park most of the time><
at night all my relatives came to celebrate my grandma's bdae.
i guess my nephew and niece had a nice time bullying me! =(
haha. but they are so cute lar. but some are rather 'dirty' though. lols
if u wana see the photos, jus go fb=)

hmm. so many things to say but i dont really have the mood to blog...
startin from fri...which is NYJC's prom night!
went to regina hse for makeup with pj,edel and ivy.
if u did see my facebook profile, you wld be impressed.
haha, the first and last time mad permed her hair!
well, i dont really think it was very nice.
but it gave me a very different and mature kindof look.
haha. it shocked many people i guess...

sat, went to marina barrage to celebrate my best buddy-aman's bday!
went there to fly kite. but erm...
i guess i was the only one flying with aman helping.
wher are the rest? o.O
all being pestered by caiyi for the 'censored' content. lols
hurried to the cathay to watch new moon after that.
didnt really take a lot of photos, dunno why. haha

sun, which is today...
went to church like at 8am in the morning!
super tired until i wore my clothes without realising it...
haha, my sis laughed like mad when i told her.
she didnt even notice it! ><
then went down to red hill for the rws interview with bx, aman and wenyi.
and...i GOT IN! not as crew but as retail. lols
well, the pay is just avg. but what i'm after is the exp=)
the training is super far frm my hse! hias.
too bad aman n wenyi didnt get in on the spot,
but i hope hr will call them on wed!!!!
i guess it would be a whole new exp. the job hr is rather short.
so i guess, i have to find another part time~
haha. mad wants to earn $$$ for uni fees. =)
jiayou bah. cant wait to go for the m'ysia trip.
i hope it will be fun. provided that i wont be too bored when i'm stuck with ms! =P

hias...
why issit so hard for me to find someone to work with me?
lols. i wana find a job to earn money.
but i cant find anyone to join me.
i heard tt universal studio is hiring crew!
i dont mind joining. seriously tt wld be so cool.
workin wher all the coolest roller coaster in singapore is.
and hearing the shouts of ppl in the rollar coaster><
but yeah. nobody to join me in tt job even if i go, it wont be fun.
diff ppl have diff job expectations.
which makes it EVEN harder to find a suitable job.
if jingyi didnt retain, i guess she will sure apply for the jobs with me.
and if i am goin to find a job with aman, i guess i can only find admin jobs.
haha. not tt they arent good. but i dont like to stay put in a office for long hours.
i'm really afraid of wasting time during this long break.
i wana make good use of it to earn money for uni!><
nvm. tmr still got one last paper to go! jiayou bah><

this is my new msn pic! a toy dog with the fruit tart that i made^^
so many ppl ask me abt this pic and the qn are all so weird..
the qn are like...
why does the dog eat tart?
is the dog real? why so small in size?
lols. its just a display pic lar! haha.




last fri my sec sch clique came over to my hse to make the present for aman's bdae.
well, its been rather long since we met up...
so we started drawing and painting the kite filled with hello kitty! ><
then at night i was chatting with my parents until my mum was saying that...
almost all ur friends got a bf alr how come you dont have one?
LOLS! too bad hui isnt here tt day to side with me=(
but yeah, tts my MUM! i duno why she wants me to have a bf tt badly.
haha. hopefully the m'ysia trip wouldnt make her think elsewhere.
coz i wasnt with the idea of goin there as 2 guy 2 gal.
esp when jas n xy are alr a pair of couple.
well, see how things go yea? =)

then last sat, i went to ms hse to play mahjong...
didnt feel like goin in the 1 place,
but since i alr promised them tt i wld go, i did. haha
rushed to my 2nd aunt's chalet at sentosa at night.
hmm.this is the first time all cousins went to sentosa together! ><
it was nice. so fun^^
maybe we can book 2hum's chalet at sentosa nxt yr><

and i wanna thank my lovely cousin: ah mei jiejie!
she is such a wonderful cousin.
when i'm broke she nvr fail to offer me with free treats and she sponsered me for my prom><
well, even though she didnt spon a lot but its the thoughts that counts.
my cousins are always great! ><
no wonder they sae blood is thicker than water...
if i didnt had such a wonderful cousin, i wonder who wld bring me to buy contacts, shop for bags etc.
amjj, if you happen to see this post,
huiying promise to buy you chicken rice for eternity!!! =D

WOOHOO!~
its....goin to be the end of A level real real SOON!><
thanks to bio mcq that is 10 days away...
but no worries...i have alr start to play! ><
need to look for a part time job first though coz dec expenses is real high!
need fifty for the stupid makeup n hair styling for prom
another 58 for contacts
50 for prom dress...if i can find one tt cheap.=P
another 200 for my m'ysia trip.
and maybe another 100 for ANOTHER m'ysia trip with my cca-mates.
not to mention $$$ for aman, karen, bixia and yuting's bdae!
=( mad is seriously broke.
its only tues and i have alr finished my allowance for the week!
still need to go out everyday><
money money money...i need to work! hias.
since today is the only day tt i'm nt gg out this week, i decided to bake!><
and i chose to bake fruit tart becoz its my sis fav! ><
well. the taste is average lar. haha.
but for the first try its considered nt bad i guess=D

hmm...its been a long time since i last blogged.
i guess its becoz i'm tied up by A lvls.
and finally...A level has been unOFFICIALLY over!!!><
well. i duno how i would score
i have no confidence tt i would reach my aim of 4 A!
however, i knw i have tried my best so yea...
at least i have worked hard for it. so hopefully i wont do badly.
i've been chiongin videos lately. =D
so many shows to watch!!! ><
i wana go out and shop! and to find job too!
i need money to shop and to go overseas><
ohh. not to forget.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY KAREN!><

14 more days to A levels!!!
lols. i seemed to be getting more relaxed as A level is getting near.
maybe its because i dont seem to care abt it anymore.haha
met mr lim on my way home as i left sch.
he asked me if i still wana go for the thai volunteering trip.
hmm. if u ask me, of course i will! ><
then i went back and told my mum...
MAD: Mama, i MIGHT be goin back to thai to volunteer...
Mum: When?
MAD: End DEC? for like 10 days? =D
MUM: Siao. you might as well volunteer in singapore! there are a lot of people in need of help in singapore!
MAD: where got?
MUM: the person is sitting in front of you! so free, might as well help me by clearing your room! wana look after kids go give birth to one lar!
MAD: ... ...

sometimes my mum simply leaves me speechless...
i guess she is the only one with this skill. lols
but no matter what, as long as i have made up my mind.
no one can stop me><
though A level haven't end, i'm alr thinking of going overseas=P
and thanks to all my friends who gave me support><
thanks jy and xt for the msgs. ><
and hui for ur encouragement on msn.
i will work hard...I CAN AND I WILL ACE MY A LEVEL! ><

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO HUI AND NING!!!
hope your did receive my special gift...
that is if i didnt get the wrong add=P





feeling stressed up lately.
as A level is nearing
i feel as though i'm dying
i'm struggling to keep myself motivated and awake.
many times i feel like giving up
but i dont wana act like a coward.
i have to face the reality
and the choice that i have made.
GOD, pls bless me with the strength and courage to continue!
><

A LEVEL IS COMING! ><
buck up people.
its time to get serious.
be prepared for the better.
it will soon be over.
in another 2 months time i'll be out to party! =D
jiayou! ><

finally poly people started their sch term><

Today is such an AWESOME day!!!
i OFFICIALLY GRADUATED from NANYANG JUNIOR COLLEGE!><
had such a fun time taking photos today~!
the video made by the teachers were simply AWESOME~!
I laughed like crazy><
and i have to thank my friends for the lovely card!!!=D








me and my church friends! ><









with my funny principal mr kwek! =D









my civics tutor ms tan! =D









lovely bio teachers mr quek and mr neo! =D









My SLC friends! ><









my lovely clique! still got some ppl missing=P









My JC buddy elaine! =D










my PW group! 'the one and ONLY photo'=P









Class DINNER at astons for the GIRLS><









picture with the 'BOOMZ'! haha><
















Life in NYJC will never be the same without your.
the fun, joy and laughter will always be remembered.
we laugh together, study together and gossip together.
these are precious memories that GOD has given me.
I'll treasure this wonderful memories><
I'll miss NYJC and you guys! =)
Thanks for the card and the wonderful msgs.
they will always be remembered deep down in my heart=D
and for those that we didnt get the chance to take photos today...
we still have PROM NIGHT! ><

hias. i'm sick again...
stupid flu! go away!!!
i hate having running nose=(

MAD! pls stop sleeping!
argh!!! i wanted to come home and start studying bio
in the end, i slept for one whole afternoon!
met wynee on my way home.
and she still sms me to tell me to keep myself frm falling aslp!
indeed, i'm such a pig!
oh man,how can i stop myself from slpin...
feeling so guilty now.
my classmates are starting to work hard alr...
how do i knw?
they booked consultation slots like everyday for almost all subj!
so i shldnt let myself slack.
work hard! buck up!
its really very competitive in sch now.
where ppl tend to hide that they are studying.
why do they even have to hide?
everyone has to study at this period of time.
there is nth wrong to study now.
its time for the survival of the fittest.

" Have i not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your GOD will be within you wherever you go."
-Joshua 1:9





Happy Birthday WAN LING~ =)
ohh.and thank you hui for ur encouragement ytd.
I WILL work hard=)
jiayou jiayou jiayou!

24 more days...
went for econs camp early in the morning. lols
then i went to golden mile with ah girl and jas.
checked the price for holiday in malaysia.
wow! it isnt cheap to travel! =(
so many place tt i haven been before. hias
then i went to ps to meet bi xia.
xt ask me to meet her for dinner but i chose to acc my family. haHA
ohh. went to archade with bi xia
i managed to play till stage 4 for basketball with her!
played drum too and the both of us were so tired.
went for dinner and came home to watch KO.3anguo.
ep 33 is super exciting! ><
i cant wait for the next ep=)

i knw i shld have studied but i didnt.
lets treat this as my last break.
and i shall start to work towards my goal.
SMU here i come!

the week ended. leaving 25 days to A lvls.
i'm not yet prepared!!! =(
got back econs paper ytd. It was a utter disappointment.
despite the hardwork i spent studyin essay, it didnt improve at all!
i didnt study for case study and it ended up improving. lols
maybe wad TK says is correct.
i shldnt have studied.
if i just slp earlier and studied less, i might have scored better.
which sounds true. lols
tmr still got econs camp...argh.
need to wake up early in the morning. cant even have a nice day of rest.
i have so many things to do, but so little time.
what can i expect out of my A lvl?

Dear GOD, pls look after all of us.
those who are having EOY, O lvl and A lvl.
your support is what that can pull ur through this ordeal.
i place my trust in you.
i'll accept the results that you have planned for me.
though i might grumble but i knw you shld knw what is the best route for me...

25 days to A lvl!
time is running out. madmad must jiayou!
to think i still went out for dinner with my cousins ytd.
but yeah, i did a good deed by teaching wenwen jiejie how to do her marketing project...
when i dunno anything abt marketing. haha
nvr learnt it before so i used my econs knowledge to hlp her.
hope i didnt harm her. lols.
but marketing seems fun^^
in the end i had to stay up till 1am to TRY to complete my hw. Zzz
today is the start of the new timetable.
i only had 2 lectures so ended sch pretty early=)
its hard to imagine...that i am graduating from JC next FRI!
its just 10 days later. woah.
i'm ending my JC life soon...
i always complain that i dont like JC life but i think i'm gonna miss it when i graduate...
ohh. mr quek gave us a momento today!
the bio teachers took a neoprint that they pasted it on a ruler that they gave us.
so nice of them^^
i am touched by their moves.
though i am bad at bio, i don regret taking this sub cause the teachers are so nice and funny! no lesson is better than this!
and thank you jas for the encouragement on the post-it that i nearly threw away=P

my classmates says that with my new haircut,
i look like xiao wan zi. lols
reminds me of the lit proj tt i did with ning in sec 2.
haha. well at least ppl say i look 10 years younger..
so practically i look like a 8 year old kid^^
which means i dont look like a 'mother' anymore.=)

another day passed...
its getting closer and closer to A lvl! ><
i feel so dead. have no confidence to do well for this exam...
and i'm gonna take my exam in a month's time!!!
stayed in sch till 8 today.
well, me and jas got a new name for ms!
his name shall be called 'ah girl' from now on.><
nice name that suits his character. haha!
well, i dont really like to study with him cause i dunno if he noticed, that his words can cause a great deal of hurt to me.
esp when he always say blah blah qn so easy, mad how come u dunno how to solve?!?
oh well, u think i dont wana know how to solve the qn?
u think i like to be so dumb?
u think i enjoy getting stuck while doin qn? argh!
i seriously feel that i am getting stupid.
last time he was the one who wld ask me qn...
now it became the other way round. =(


actually i like the feeling of scoring well, to get the 1 in class...
but for everything, there is a price to pay.
i scored the highest for chem this prelim in my class,
and ppl are all saying that i'm chem pro, i'm gd at chem
but the fact is, i am not gd at chem too!
1 in class but 197 in cohort...is this good?
i feel that i did very badly, but i cant say this to my class ppl.
not tt i am proud but because i dont wana demoralise them.
i know there are ppl who study harder than me.
but still fail chem and some other subjects.
to them my results aresuper good..
but to me, it sucks.
it isnt up to my expectation yet.
say i'm greedy, i admit i am.
like what ms poh said before,
students are all greedy and selfish
because we are all snatching and fighting for A
who dosent want A? we are living in this society that your future is dependent on your reults.
and there is no room for failure.
once you fail, your future would be gone.
so if i cant get into Uni, wher would i go?...

Ps. i added my old tagboard back...since my cousin says that she got no place to comment. lols

its sunday! haha. so i bet you all know wher i was...
went to church in the morning as usual. haha
then i went to my grandma hse. had lunch with my cousins^^
watched the repeat telecast of fann wong's wedding.
i didnt knw she spent 5m on the wedding! o.O
but maldives is a very nice place^^
i dont mind goin there in future...
was doin maths but i kept getting stuck. Zzz
so in a moment of anger, i decided to cut my hair!
esp my fringe of coz, and i cut bangs. haha
sry to my friends. i knw all of u have waited long to see me in long hair...
but the hair simply irritates me! so i had no choice but to...
CUT IT! haha ><
i knw caiyi is goin to say i promise her etc...
but luckily she wont see me until the nxt time my hair grows longer! ><
my aunt treated us to a sumptuous dinner today!
i was so FULL until i could hardly walk...lols
think my tummy is getting bigger! need to slim down><


hias, didnt study much today...i need the momentum. wher can i find it?
i need the motivation. wher is it?
teacher shenping taught us the chapt of habbakuk today...
i find the chpt relevant to today's context.
the chpt says that why is god so unfair,
that there are ppl suffering from various aftermath of disasters...
the elderly who survives on begging and collecting cardboards...
children born in third world countries that cant even have a proper meal...
but there are bad ppl who exhort money and have luxurious lifestyle...
but these are just the plans of GOD.
he haven revealed his plan to us...
the poor will suffer now, but will receive riches in heaven in recognition of their undying faith,
but the rich will enjoy the riches now, and suffer in hell when they die...
GOD is always fair in his ways that we do not know^^

argh! i cant study in the afternoon..
Zzz. keep falling aslp...
i slept at 9 ytd. didnt even manage to complete any work.
woke up early today. went to sch for the extra chem lesson.
well. i did finish the jjc paper.
but i scored the same marks as i did for my prelim paper! lols
that means i had forgotten what i had studied. Zzz
well, mrs wong said sth that is very true today
"in a few months time you are goin to take a test that will determine your future."
yea, it determines if i will or will not enter a uni!
and ms poh said sth very true ytd too...
"In singapore, your results reflect a lot abt you. If you can score well, then you have a bright future. If not, say bye bye to your future..."
hias. life is sad. its all abt studying.
i need to aim high.
i wana score all As and Bs!
i need to work hard to achieve my goals! ><


i need motivation. who can help me to regain my confidence for maths? this subj seems so hopeless to me all of a sudden. maybe i am very careless. or maybe i shld stop finding excuses when i dont score well...maybe i shld start to buck up now.

had a short day in sch^^
wanted to go home and start studying but i ended up taking a LONG nap..
Zzz. slp slp slp. i guess thats my hobby. lols
mrs tan went through our maths p1 today.
if there is a knife in class, i guess i'll juz stab myself!
key in value can key wrongly, copy qn can copy wrongly,
round off to 3sf also round off wrongly!
Zzzz. think i had a lack of slp on tt day of exam...
for gp, i thot my grammer had improved since my essay was quite clean,
only had 3 'g', but when my cher went through compre today,
i realised that i had 20+ 'g' in p2! lols.
so its just a transfer of 'g', nt really an improvement.
the only result tt i haven got back is econs essay.
but frm the comments of the chers, i guess i wont score well..
lols. hope the case study marks can help to push it
and hopefully i can get a C! hopefully><
if nt my rank pt wld be freaking low!
i seriously dont wanna fall into the grp tt jel said.
the grp tt fall into the average,
wher we cant enter uni nor retain. Zzz
i feel that i can do better. yes i can.
i must start to build up my confidence!
hopefully aman can gain back her confidence.
if GOD permits, i would pass her my optimistic character.
so that she can learn to face things with optimism and nt with tears.
this is the darkest period of all our lives,
where our days are filled with stress and homeworks.
but we must learn to be optimistic=)


IF time can turn back, i promised tt i will study harder for my prelims...esp maths.
this is the period of time where the encouragement from family and friends will pull us through the tides.

got back both h1 papers today.
i passed GP and BIO! ><
though the results are not fantastic, but at least i tried hard and passed it!
i realised that i did meet my target of all D's and above..
except for MATHS... ...
jas said that she got a shocked when she knw my math result.
u think i didnt get a shocked?
well. its all over i guess.
went to minds cafe with xy, ms and jas.
met twins, yan, charlene and xm.
haha. i thot i wouldnt meet them.
since ning said she reserved a place and i thot she wld take the 2nd sty
haha. maybe its fated.
my stupid printer dosent even wna let me print the rjc paper.
argh! i guess maths isnt my forte now. Zzz
i cant even do the qn. hias.
buck up! i cant let myself be dissapointed anymore!

emo-ed today when i got back my maths paper.
the U grade is staring straight into my face!
i felt as though i was dead. i didnt expect this grade.
though i knew i might fail, but i didnt knw it would be this bad.
and the worst thing is that i DID study!
wanted to cry but i thot forget abt it. lols
the results are not worth it. my tears are very precious!
got back econs in the afternoon. it was alright.
and it smoothes my emotion a little. lols
went to far east with twins. but i lost the mood to shop...
maybe its my maths results or simply issit becoz i'm broke?
i don't know...
a bit senseless today. keep bringing them to the wrong direction.
went to mindscafe. played serveral games=)
the best thing is not the game, but the bonding session tt we had. =D
well, i preferred charade of coz. it was super FUN!
and i know i'm bad at 1st impression...lols
played and train-ed home.
i hope the games has cheered up aman coz she didnt score well either.
and i hope the twins wldnt mind the super early celebration=P
oh. not to forget the mooncake in replacement for bdae cake! haha
i hope it tastes nice=P
went to fb and i think this message from GOD is just right for me.

There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down, - you are limiting yourself only wit...h your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible.

yeah. nothing is holding me back apart from myself. I simply have to strive for the results that i wished for. its time to get serious...

today is a SUPER tiring day! lols
did bio p1 in the morning and i nearly fell aslp during the paper!
got back chem result...
the results arent bad but i'm sure i could do better!
so many stupid careless mistake! argh!
esp the functional grp ester which i spelt as esther! LOLS
this is the stupidest mistake i can ever have!
went out with wynee to shop for gifts.
and we both ended up so tired that we couldnt continue walking!
and both of us saw so many things that we were tempted to buy!
argh! why i dont have enough money?!? lols
so sian lar. cant buy anything after spendin 100 bucks today.
but for friends, its worth it. ^^
went to celebrate ms and sh birthday at pizza hut today
had a great laugh thanks to gg and edna!
went back and go all the way to jy and cy hse to get their bdae msg.
oh man, i'm so tired now! lol
still have to print econs notes and do the acjc paper! =(
life is always hard isnt it? ...

went out with xt,qr and jel today.
haha. i was thinking how come we were meeting at hg.
and in the end i realised that it has been long since the 3 of them went to hg!
cause no one knows that there is a pizza hut there. lols
the funniest thing is that the 4 of us stood in front of pizza hut,
and spent like half an hour to decide what to eat. lols
in the end we ended up in pepper lunch. lols
chat n chat. iu sudd realise that my world is very simple compared to theirs.
haha. qr and xt's love cycle is very complicated!
and i was telling jel it's tougher to understand compared to bio! haha
i start to realise the importance of leading a simple life^^
after dinner we were thinking of wher to go.
so i randomly suggested jel's hse.
in the end we really went there! lols
played dai di. chit chat until 11 plus
poor xt is gonna get scolded by her sis when she get home!
i sudd realise how good my parents were. i didnt even have any phone calls frm them!
lols. we still took photos as prove that we were the ones with xt. haha
reached home at 12 and here i am, blogging.

maybe its seriously time to get serious! there isnt much time left
my first paper is on 10 nov, which means i'm left with 40+ days!
oh man. time is running out. i have to buck up. i HAVE TO!
come on mad. its time to get serious~!
i should be mugging now. i SHOULD!
come on. let me fall in love with my books! be a mugger!
i hope my results wont be bad for prelims.
i seriously dont wish to u-turn. if that happens, it is going to be the biggest failure in my life! get SERIOUS! =(

Sian...
i simply cant focus! coz i'm only left with mcq paper. lols
i feel that a lvl is hopeless.
and aman reminded me tt i am only left with erm 47 days? ><
friends wld always say you can do it!
cousins would say that i am smart so A lvl is nth to me.
well, i feel that all these comments are not useful at all!
it only adds up to my tremendous stress.
coz deep down my heart i knw people's expectation of me.
and i dont wana let them down, esp my parents.
GOD please grant me with wisdom!!!

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

yea! i finally ended most of my papers...
except 2 mcq^^
i'm sry if i bore you all with all my complains abt studies
i didnt wan to, but my life evolves ard studies...so...
finally i can relax a bit.
but its really A BIT! and i have to continue to strive for A lvl
sian. choices.
i made a wrong choice and ended up being so stressful.
but GOD is still good to me.
he gave me plenty of good friends. and lotsa encouragement.
though the road may be tough, but i'm determined to go on.
i got a lot of things to do after A lvl!
here is my checklist: ^^
1. SHOP TILL I DROP! i'm gonna fill my wardrobe with new clothes^^
2. SAVE UP FOR BANGKOK / MALAYSIA TRIP WITH OSLE PPL!
3. SAVE UP FOR HK TRIP WITH MY COUSINS!
4. SAVE UP FOR TAIWAN TRIP WITH TWINS AND AMAN WHEN I'M 21!
5. LEARN BAKING WITH JAS
6. LEARN DRIVING WITH OLIVIA
7. LEARN PIANO FROM CHURCH
8. FINISH WATCHING ALL MY BELOVED DRAMAS!

hmm. this shall be my wishlist for the moment. i foresee that it will grow longer in times to come. haha.

20-09-2009...
Today is the 1 year death anniversary for my grandpa.
Its seems so fast. time seems to fly isnt it?
i was still having my promo when my grandpa died abd now i'm busy preparin for prelims!
the whole family gathered at my grandma hse.
well, my mother didnt go, she chose to go and work instead...
its rather funny.
when my grandpa was alive and kicking, or during CNY,
there wasnt even a time whereby the whole family would gather together...
there would sure be some ppl missing here missing there...
but when my grandpa died, evreyone start to feel guilty...
and EVERYONE came to commemorate his death anniversary.
whats the point of doin all these after grandpa has alr been in heaven?
why do ppl always fail to treasure what they have?
nw grandma is the only elderly at home
but i dont see my uncles and aunties coming back often to visit her and to show their concern for her...
are they still gonna make the whole thing repeat again?
shldnt they start to appreciate grandma now?!?
well, i'm sure grandpa is lookin after us in heaven
because he blessed us with this opportunity to gather together.
i had a fun time meeting up with my cousins^^
anyway, they is no point crying over grandpa's death.
...

* Happy bday to MS and LEVINA! ^^
mad must continue to strive for prelims!

人，哭着喊着跑到这个世界上来，面临的首要问题就是生存。要生存，就必然遇到竞争；有竞争，就必然有压力。所以，只要你选择活着，就注定要承受生存所带来的各种各样的压力，如升学、就业、晋职等，不胜枚举，不一而足。我们只有勇于正视压力，学会承受压力，才能在日趋激烈乃至残酷的生存竞争中，永远立于不败之地。

I pondered upon this. and it got me thinking, isnt this true? that life is full of competition and only the fittest survive. since we cant do anything to change our lives, why not just accept it and make the best out of it. Even if the path that we have chosen is the wrong one, we can always find a way to make things better. If we know how to change our perspectives towards diff things, the world might be a better place with less sufferings...^^

wow...it seems sooooo long since i last blogged. lols
paiseh, was too busy with jc stuff so didnt have time to update my blog. haha
well, mainly its because my mye results is damn lousy
so i wana focus more on my studies. haha
well, i sure hope that i would be able to score well for prelims...
if not its really GG for me le.
A level is just ard the corner.
not only my friends are stressed, i'm feeling stressed up too!
stressed up because the ppl ard me all have high expectations of me
and i didnt wana let them down. i hate to make ppl feel disappointed
but sadly, i feel that i am damn stupid now
simple maths qn also need to spend hours to solve it
and i still didnt manage to pass bio and gp for my common test! argh
i'm seriously very worried abt my results even though i might look happy go lucky
part of me alr feels like giving up
coz studying has become such a torture!
well, i suppose that i can only depend on GOD for this period of time.
turn to GOD and let him resolve all these problems for me.
BUCK UP MADELINE! ^^

I'm feeling so useless now...
why cant i even concentrate and focus on studying?!?
felt s0 dumb after i sat for MYE
coz most of the qn i cant ans
those that i can ans i didnt have time to complete it
hias, i think this exam GG le.
no matter how hard the paper is,
how many times i told myself to prepare that i will fail,
i still cant learn to accept failure.
i've been in JC for a year and a half,
where i have experienced countless times of failure
but i simply didnt learn how to get over failures
and to accept failure.
i know how to counsel people when they fail
and to put up a happy front saying that fail, nvm lar.
but deep down in my heart i'm in pain
i'm always deceiving myself.
how can it be okay when i fail my exams?!?
esp i did tried to study. did put in effort.
maybe not for all the subj but still, i cant accept it.
Who would like to fail exams. lols
FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS!
why am i chionging boys over flowers when i have econs exam tmr?!?
i guess i'm running away from reality
trying to deceive myself that the paper wld be easy
and to give excuses not to touch my books.
MAD MAD ONG!!! STUDY!
i know i have to, i seriously have to start!
i dun wish to fail A lvl and go to poly
that would be the worse part of my life if that happens
hias, life is sad. why isnt there joy in studying anymore?

Been studying these few days...
but cant remember much that i studied! argh.
i went for 2nd service today
and the pastor was saying about how we shld turn to GOD even when we are at the darkest side of our life.
and he started saying that your true friends are not those that would spur you to study...instead, they are those that would scold you and say that you are wrong.
well, it sudd dawned onto me that many friends did that to me.
always telling me that by goin out too much is wrong
that i shld be studying!
well, maybe GOD gave me lotsa good friends
but i always failed to appreciate their existence
i always complain that they arent good
but am i a good friend myself? i doubt so too.
so yea, i'm sorry dear friends if i have ignored or upset any of you
maybe becoz this part of life is the toughest and darkest part that i am goin through
and i'm still learning on how to become a perfect friend
pls forgive me...=D

It's been long since i blogged...
suddenly thot of bloggin while i was taking a break after studying bio.
was looking at my cupboard when i found my pri sch diary...
it seemds so naive when ppl all say that u are under their 100% friends
but we dun even keep in contact after pri sch! haha
took a look at the bdae cards that i received over the years.
i noticed it has been a trend for ppl who know me to say that i'm MAD.
lols. am i that MAD!?! haha
i miss the days when we went to jy's father factory to make those pottery pigs...
miss the days wher we bring cup noodles to caiyi hse for project...
miss the days that we go out together as one big clique...
miss the days where i could call my friends to chit chat...
miss the days that we were at the archade...
miss the times that we ate and talk at pizza hut...
miss the times we watched movie and laughed together...
miss the times i spent with amanda at the library...
miss the class where everyone was always fighting with one another...
where are all those happy days!?!
are all these moments lost as people matures?
or has our tertiary education robbed them away?
wld we be like the pri sch friends...
those that proclaims that you are their 100% friends but who dun keep into contact as time passed?
how strong exactly are friendship?
are we all till as close? hmm... ...

another wk of the hols passed!
shit lar. i haven even really rmb chem
maybe can say tt i studied more on econs but i forgt wad i studied too!
Zzz, die lar
somemore my wk 3 is quite pack sia
tmr is bio hw choingin with ivy n levina
tues gt full sch day till 4pm! and i cant wait for dinner at night to meet up with my clique of friends!=D
wed gt 2 hum class gathering at sentosa
fri going out to kbox and to shop with my cousins!~
how!?! i nvr had a proper chance to study
actually no mood to study also! sad leh
went to perform magic tricks today for some children
was asked to perform by jh
me and jy felt so odd there lar. haha
the situation was kindof funny and our skills was...
lols. lack of practice lar. haha
although i bought a lot of clothes but i still cant find wad to wear today
sian. but i cant continue buying alr! hias
money money wher are you!?!
i'm gonna earn like mad when i end A lvl!=D

hias. i feel so bad today.
didnt go for drama's post production party as well as osle gathering
went to study with bixia n karen before i went to my grandma hse instead
wanted to go for osle gathering
but i felt that i haven been to my grandma hse for quite some time
so yeap, i decided to be fillial. haha
went to amk lib to study today with karen, wendy and bixia
since its nearer to my ah ma hse. haha
went to suki sushi for lunch
wanted to eat more but i feel the pinch in my purse
so i controlled myself. haha
then karen went into this shop to look at the clothes
and the 3 of us ended up spending 101.60!
thank goodness i onli contributed to 2.90 for a earring
haha. mad is controlling her purse
to prevent myself frm turning into a shopaholic.
but i'm turning my friends into a shopaholic. haha
everyone tends to buy clothes when they are out with me
lols. nt my fault ehh?!?
well, i guess time isnt enuff for me to finish revision
but yeap shall try my best=D

sian. been studying econs for the whole day again!
sick and tired of studying...
but no choice, have to continue studying. Zzz
stayed at hm to study today
and as expected, i fell aslp after 2 pg of bio notes
Zzz...cant rmb wad i have studied.
how!??! stupid mye is coming!!!
hias,i want my JC life to end soon
but i want a beautiful end.
i want to achieve my goals...
those that i have set!
well, its been long since i met my sec sch friends
really looking forward to the sentosa 2 hum gathering trip! =D
well, i guess i have been out quite often for this hols.
but nt with my usual sec sch clique
didnt wana plan. wanted to see if they wld want to meet up
but my cousin told me it's useless to wait
maybe they dun even care to meet up. lols
studying has taken over the place of friendship
maybe its the system of the tertiary education
when ppl meet new friends, they tend to forget their old friends
sometimes i really admire my cousin
their sec sch clique still take the effort to meet up every sat
well. maybe i'm thinking too much!? lols
maybe i'm too free, when there is too much time i'll start to think ALOT
about friendship, kinship and my fellowship with GOD.
then maybe i'll emo. lols
but things still turn out to be fine so far.
maybe i must thank GOD for creating me to be such a optimistic kid=D

woah...so many days have passed
didnt study much though
a bit guilty larh. coz i have been out
hias. i wan a break frm studying!
been studying for so much until i wana faint le.
Zzz...jiayou ppl!

argh! It's been 5 days and my voice arent getting any better.
At least i can make some sound. lols
played captain ball with the slc ppl tis morning
hmm..sort of miss playing this sport. haha
studied chem for one WHOLE afternoon
but still, i only finished 3 topics
and there are like 20 0ver topics just for chem alone! sad...
met up with olivia for dinner today
haha. i sudd realised how tall i have grown
coz both of us were of the same height in pri 6
but i'm so much taller than her now! haha
talked. walked ard before i went to my grandma hse.
waited for my dad to pick me up.
damn tired now...but i have to research abt art for cslmch
i'm guilty that i left my friends there to deal with the youths.
but i need to go for my camp. and the dates just clash
i can only do my best to hlp out then.
life is a torture,if i spend every single hour studying!
the camp shall be an opportunity for me to relax...

MAD's voice sound like shit now!
argh! i've lost my voice for 3 days
this is a great torture to me!
and my classmates are making fun of me=(
well, the only good thing is that i dun have to ans qn. haha
sian. if i still cant get well on fri,
i have to forgo my famine camp!!!
hias. wad to do. health is more impt
i wana talk with my nice voice!
cant even sing songs lar. sad...
haven been doin much revision lately
think i need to get serious.
it's really time for me to sit down and study!
i must buck up!!!

1 June 2009
The Very first day of my school holidays!
supposed to be studying. but i didnt. haha
went to sch in the morning to learn art for standup movement
learn hw to draw using basic shapes! haha
went to sentosa for class gathering in the afternoon
met elaine and ivy at the mrt while the rest of the class is at sentosa playin alr
played captains ball and volley ball
the weather was SUPER HOT can!?!
so many ppl got sun burn. thank goodness i didnt. haha
after bathing we went for the sky luge in sentosa
quite nice ehh. but the cost is veri ex.
for memories sake i guess its worth it then. haha.
chiong to the condo for osle bbq.
didnt eat anything there coz i wasnt supposed to eat bbq food
simply becoz i lost my voice since sunday. lols
my mum didnt want me to go out today but since i have alr given my words that i will be there for all these events, i will! haha
MAD is a woman of promises kae! haha
i enjoyed my day=D

Another early dismissal today=D
My timetable simple rocks isnt it?!? haha
well. on my way to the bus-stop i saw the guys in my class
i onli noticed them when jh said Hi to me.
and that was the only thing we said.
then we continue working in our different paths
well, the guys in my class are certainly more united than the girls
they even go home together! lols
alot of girls in my class are against them now.
actually i think that from a certain angle, they dun seem that bad
esp when i can see that some of them are really working hard now
that gives me the pressure not to slack!
when 82 passed by SRJC, i saw glennard from the bus
doubt he saw me. but we dun talk either.
i dun like to communicate much with him either. lols
my cough is getting worst! sore throat remain as bad.
maybe when fever strikes then i would go and consult a doctor. HAH!
tmr will be the start of MYE!~
gosh, i dunno wad to expect for GP
hopefully i can pass it though.
life seems to go back to the nice old studying days.
which is....GOOD! haha
no wonder there is this phrase ignorance is bliss
when u care about less things your life is much simpler=D

i made a stupid mistake today! haha
jeanette told me tt today is ms tan's bdae
so i went to text her HAPPY BIRTHDAY
and in the end she replied me to say tt it isnt today. lols
pon pe today coz i wasnt feeling well
have been feeling weak since last night
thats y i didnt blog ytd
and my throat is still in pain despite the buckets full of herbal tea that i was forced to drink and the uncountable no of strepsils tt i have ate
argh! tis seriously arent the time to fall sick!
went for my first GP consultation with elaine
Mrs tan is nice=D but i hope that mr tan can be back
i sort of miss him...
opps. u must be surprised that this came out from my mouth. hah!
saw wayne on train today
but he was deep in sleep
and the look of his utterly shocked face when he woke up n saw me
think its becoz i didnt see him for quite some time
tts y it took me two stops to realise that that person sitting opposite me is wayne. haha.
mad's weak health is coming back. sian
but i have been slpin a LOT tis week to make up for the sleep that i have lost.
it dosent seem to be useful leh. sian.
I MUST GET WELL SOON! plenty of gatherings waiting for me=D

These few days have been freakkiiinnnnn HOT!
i feel as though i am melting. haha
been sweating like hell can. lols
today sch ended early AGAIN! yeah
but tmr i'll end at 5pm -.-
lessons were boring as usual.
but i'm super tired today!
think i slept too late last night
and i actually fell aslp on the bus again!
onli woke up when i reach somewhere near punggol beach. Zzz
had to walk back such a long way to my hse
coz i didnt wana wait for the bus since the frequency is like half an hr.
i cleared most of my involvement
apart from the standup proj.
i seriously had lotsa experiences working in this proj
and they arent fun experiences. lols
u juz get to know more ppl and see how they do work
simply dun like some of the people's attitude
they think they are the BOSS but they arent
lols. so wad if they are the IC
ppl will not respect them if they dun show us that they are good leaders
forget it. this is life. lols
shall catch a nap before i do my homework.=D
i realised that i will be goin out on hols too
hope i gt suff time to study
dun tink my sec sch clique is meeting up since no one is planning
as mad takes a break as the planning head. lols
shall see how things work out to be.

Today is SUNDAY! which means sch is starting tmr...Zzz
went to church today.
didnt remember that its the j2's turn to teach today
so we didnt prepare. and stupid joshua sabo us somemore.
sian... and i seriously dun like the cher this year
if i tink that the lesson is boring i doubt i wld go for it anymore
maybe i'll just go for 2nd service.
i think 2nd service is fantastic lar! haha
went to dhoby gaut with my sis to buy tickets
then we realised that weiting checked the wrong cinema timeslot
so we didnt have suff time to watch night at the musuem 2.
went to eat at justacia instead. haha
then i decided to go back to buy the black dress
HAHA. went to take bus to ah ma hse
actually i wanted to shop but they stopped me=(
she told me rmb the girl in the movie confession of the shopaohlics?
you are turning into one. lols
actually i tink so too. haha
so i MUST stop buying!
slept throughout the bus journey.
my cousin is discussing abt his wedding...
erm to be exact his gf was the one discussing
and they gt so erm...'excited' abt it
sounds more like a debate to me. haha.
didnt knw having a wedding could be so troublesome
now i'm dead. need to chiong 3 chem tut out!
hias. my weekend is gone...

MAD MAD has finally finished her SGC! yea=D
after sitting in front of the com to type for 2 hours!
i seriously had a hard time crapping...
Oh well, today went to sch early in the morning
wanted to watch yu ting's performance, but lazy to register
went to macs and bought this new white choc frapple.
damn nice lar! haha
met my int grp members in sch to do reflections
then mr victor walked passed and came to join in
he was amazed at the amt of work that he threw us. lols
after the meeting i went out to shop with yt and bx.
they were amazed at the sales in bugis. haha
shopping with them brought a new perspective to my dressing sense
they go for bright coloured clothes. haha
and their fashion sense amazed me! haha
but they all bought back quite a no. of stuff
i am a good girl today
managed to suppress my shopping desire. haha
need to control spending coz i bought too much lately
went hm ate dinner
after dinner ggxy ask me out to basketball
and i actually agreed! haha
played for an hr before i came hm to type my sgc
another day is wasted. didnt study anything today~ hias

another early dismissal day today=D
wanted to go hm and take a long nap but stayed in sch to finish up maths instead
the tutorial is SUPER TOUGH can!??!
the notes are simply useless. argh!
i realised that the ppl sitting beside our table is veri 'unique' today
first is this two guys sitting at the table in front of me
not to mention that they are in the LIBRARY, they were singing out the songs from their ipod as if they are in KBOX!
somemore their voice is so ewwwww.. can die
nearly throw my shoes at them. simply irritates me.
then the table in front of jiayan got this girl who brought her kitten soft toy to sch. and she was stroking the cat's fur. erm... speechless. haha
went to meet weiting for dinner with my sister.
aston had such a LONG queue today!
waited for an hr. Zzzz
but the food was nice=D haha
shopped ard and i saw this black dress that looks nice on me!
but...i realised that i have been shopping too much lately
just bought a dress last wk. if i buy this again i wonder how many dress i can buy within this month. argh
MAD is turning into a shopaholic. SHIT!
i'm gonna be BROKE when GSS comes. haha.
but i doubt i have the time to shop ehh? need to study for mye=(
this is the sad life for jc students. i must work hard!

ended sch early today=D
went hm and took a SUPER long nap until dinner=P
its been long since i had such a nice slp
coz the weather is so cooling!
esp with the help of the rain. haha
wanted to do maths tut. but gt stuck. argh!
ohh. got back math test result today
expected tt i'll fail and i did. Zzz
BUT i realised that i could have passed!
if i didnt copy the wrong ans for the intermediate steps...
Mad is forever so careless! argh.
got the msg frm youyu tt we have to pass up bio file tmr
shit. i hate packing files!
u shld see the mountain of worksheets beside my bed nw~!
lost so many of them. wonder if i can dig more out. Zzz
anw had to start writing sgc and i cant type out my testimony
the more i type the more bhb i tink i am
so i always end up deleting wad i have typed
and...i never managed to write a successful paragraph! hias
i cant get used to being so free in the afternoon
haha. i am a workaholic=P
MAD must start revision le!!!!

Well, its quite lame for me to delete a blog and to start off with an entirely new blog.
kindof miss my old blog. hah
deleted it coz i think it is unsafe
i duno hu is readin my blog
and i often gt ppl telling me hey i read ur blog, didnt know you blogged
it sounds scary to me
when ppl knw more things abt me when i arent close to them!
dun bother. haha.
i shall not let lotsa ppl knw abt this blog then.
if nt i can just private it. haha
lessons are still as boring
mad is still as busy
hias. i never seemed to be free in JC
Zzz. I dun like to be kept busy too but no choice. hah
dun worry, mad wun emo in her post anymore
this is the blog of the cheerful mad. maybe i'll just complain abt life. haha

Drama Night 2009

FINALLY Drama Night Ended. Woosssh!=D
After so much hardwork, complains and efforts...
The best part is to see that all my friends enjoying the plays
well. there are failures in the process
but nonetheless, it was still quite a success! haha
i bet all the cast enjoyed themselves too=D
had to wear formal clothes for reception of guests.
think my attire shocked all my friends
they cant recognised me! haha
well. i was FORCED to put makeups too!
i hate to put on makeup, but i didnt have a choice. so yeah...
i dun look that bad lar. haha
most ppl commented that i look nice though. hah
here are some memories of Drama night=D