a day without sl314... YES, like finally a day off programming=)
went out to buy logistics with hui zhi, didnt buy a lot of stuff cause we realised bras brasah stores charge highly! Zzz..
went for an interview, it was a wasted trip actually.
make me feel so sorry to jasmine cause i made her went down for the interview for nth too.. ...
one of my student got back her maths paper and she only got 36 -.-
but then again she say 3/4 of her class failed. the highest was 82, second highest is 59...such great difference. makes me interested to take a look at the paper.
rather than saying that im disappointed with her, i wld say im disappointed with myself cause she didnt improve after my teachings.
or perhaps there were too many chpts that i have to rush through with her...
oh well, i just have to give her more additional tuition and more hw!
i really wana help her cause i want her to do well and not end up like me...
had dinner with jc peeps, blur edel actually forgot abt the date!
nvm, luckily i still have mh and elaine. HAHA.
but both are the quiet type. so i think until i got no topics to chat! LOL.



i have 6 mths to slowly think things through...

Another day of sl314...today I can only understand the first half but not the second half of the session.
Went out for dinner with my friends.
They were talking abt proj mates attitude and perhaps future grp proj grpings
I didnt dare to say much since my score is the worse amongst them.
And when ppl like one of my friend who kept complaining how lousy when his gpa is so high, i really felt quite sad.
If ppl like u cant survive then how do i survive?
If my results continue to be so bad, wld they want me in their team?
Hias. Why is the world esp Singapore such a competitive place?
Why didnt my hardwork seems to pay off at all?
If i work doubly hard next sem, wld results show?
God, teach me what shld i do...

Had sl314 today as usual just that I changed seats.
I realized its better to sit at the bottom cause I could catch things better cause the sear at the back was too far away from the screen and I could see nth at all.
Got a lot to learn, a lot, a lot.
Esp when im so lousy in programming I really have to buck up
Looking at this sem's result I told myself there shall be no grades lower than c that will appear in my transcript anymore.
I had enough of fun alr, and its now time to get really serious.
Im going to conquere classpart too.
Speak in class, don't be afraid cause it won't help if I don't speak.
Everything is gonna change and next sem shall be my new start and a new beginning...



Am I thinking too much, so much that im depriving myself of a chance.
There is no reason that I shld be afraid, no reason that I shld run
Maybe im just a coward in this kind of issue so id choose to feign ignorance.
God, guide me on what to do.

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!

this post is dedicated to MAD's mum. HAHA.
my mother, a woman of unique and different personality.
she does not know how to cook, does not know how to dress up,
does not know how to put on make up, does not know english,
does not know how to praise her kids, does not know how to say sweet loving stuff to her husband, does not even know that her daughter stayed out all night..

BUT

she is a loving mother who belongs to the kou ying xin ruan category,
she is always sacastic in her words as a way to motivate her children,
forever complaining to be poor but is always willing to lend my dad money after a series of nagging cause she cares for him,
forever complaining about her daughters but she will do all the housework so that they can rest after a hard day of studying,
giving her daughters additional money for allowance to cover for their bus fare,
refusing to accept gifts for bday and mother's day to help her daughters save money,
scrimping and saving up by not buying things for herself but is willing to spend the money for family tour for her daughters to enjoy themselves.
LOVE will not come out from her mouth, but i knw she loves us.

i think in a sense im like my mum, sacastic in speech even when u are motivating ppl.
not knowing how to say love out, but rather would act it out.
i knw my mum might nvr see this, but my mum is one of the best mum (apart from her superb nagging skills) and i thank GOD for giving me such a lovely mum!
she might always have weird thinkings and mindsets but then again, she is still my mum, the person who was pregnant with me for ten mths! THANKS MUM! WO AI NI! =)

Got back my year one gpa.
Freaking cui, thanks to my is mods.
Feeling sad but I didnt show it on my face.
I saw my results but I didnt tell my friends my result cause is damn cui.
I got the lowest amongst them though I know they won't laugh at me.
I have so much expectations, praying for a miracle everytime i get back my results,
Thus the fall is greater now.
Look ahead. The future might be better.

SL314 started today, but seriously, i wasnt in the mood to study at ALL.
in another 24 hrs, im receiving my results.
argh! dont wish to think abt it.
the thought of it is simply SCARY.
but thats because of the high expectations i've set for myself. blame who?
blame mad. she is dumb enough to always set goals which are unreachable for herself. LOL.

Been watching show lately. Love buffet is rather nice!
its been a long time since i watched a taiwan show, but i wld say its good.
if i can have a bf who is kind, gentle, caring and compassionate like the male leads, i would die without regrets!
but then again, does such man still exist? haha.
well, its just a show, its for ppl to admire. haha

a bit sad that i couldnt book the tickets on time.
was so excited abt the bintan trip with gz and jy.
thinking abt banana boat ride, kayaking, karaoke and most imptly...snorkeling!
but in the end, tixs were sold out cause the package was damn cheap i guess.
HIAS. i shall act faster next time such deals appear again!
12 more days and i will be flying off soon!
anticipation, excitment, worries are filling my mind!!!

Great great day spent with my lovely friends ;)
It has been long since I went to a beach to relax and enjoy.
May the sea carry all my worries away.
I hope Friday never come. I dont want to run away from reality but I dont feel like facing my results too
Oh, such a dilemma.
im such a weird girl.