stomach growling real badly...
my eyes are damn tired.
shoulders are damn pain due to the long time sitting position.
now everyone from my team left.
so its just me, freezing in the library.
oh GOD, make all these sufferings end soon!
if not, i would really turn mad!

In two hrs time my dm cum ooad 'camp' shall start.
I think I won't be going hm till I finish this two proj.
Hang on mad,
All these will end soon.
Rmb results aren't everything,
Cause u alr did ur best...

These few days seem to be less hectic cause im our grp split up the parts for SQL.
Hopefully it would be ok.
I wanna finish dm early so I can focus on ooad on the next few days.
I really thank god that I can still survive and not fall sick!
Ytd my mum was talking to her friend on the phone saying that by twenty its impossible that im still single right in front of me.
Lol. Looks like after my exams my mum will start nagging abt me being single again.
If im still single by twenty one, I bet they will start arranging matchmaking session for me. Lol! Is it so important to be attached?

Listened to a missionary sharing abt her story in church today.
I felt hw amazing god was.
And hw fortunate I am to live in peace each day.
I heard a lot of ppl complaining abt their labtest result.
Why are ppl always dissatisfied with their results?
Can't we just accept the grades and move on?
The more u compare the more stressed and the more worried u will be!
Today I had the best ooad mtg ever.
Hope that things can stay as good and we can do a great job and get good grades for it
Cause this is my hope to pull up my grades.
Thur and fri overnight mtg. Hope I can survive...

I LOVE today and i thank GOD for it.
had my labtest. though i went in confident, but the files just dont compile. dunno y.
im pretty sure my methods are not wrong. but well there must be some mistakes.
oh well, forget it since it is over.
went to meet jasmine and then i saw huihui, ms and later came xy.
nice gathering with them. its been long since we met.
thanks to sch and army, everyone has been so busy to meet.
had to thank ms for that nice meal! though its not very worth it.
bought new slippers before i went to meet my jc clique.
SO LONG SINCE I've MET THEM!
missed them lots!!!
had fun joking ard and complaining ard sch work.
LENAS is a nice place to eat and chill=)
have to thank the girls for the wonderful gift too.
a formal bag that i can bring when i wear formal in future.
this is the first present i received this year. love it lots!

TODAY is a day of chilling, happiness and peace.
how good would it be if everyday can remain like this!

Happy b'day to me!
Oh wait, am I happy?
Day spent in sch studying presenting rushing labs.
Seems like its the worse b'day ehh.
But anyway b'day is just a date.
All my friends are busy and im busy too, so i didn't get to celebrate at all.
No presents too. Apart from the ones my parent gave.
Looks like b'day loses its meaning when u grow up too. Lol.
But I thank my two friends who came down my hse to Surprise me.
Cause without that, my b'day would be damn sad.
Oh well, i still have a hell lot of things to complete! Argh!
Another day with less slp.
I think its only a matter of time that i will turn into China's national panda. Lol!

I think I really have to go and see the doc cause my wound seems to have infection:(
So many things to do yet so little time.
And when I see all my friends who are so hardworking it makes me worried that I might not be putting in enough effort.
Tmr is the big day for bgs, I sure hope I don't screw up the presentation! Im praying real hard to god that I can have the courage and the ability to present well!
Hang on there mad, three more wks and u can embrace ur freedom!

=(
today mad had a terrible fall.
my stupid slippers broke while i was on my way to catch the train.
its funny though, i fell, stood up and walk.
initially i thot only my slippers broke and i would have some scratches cause i slipped after my slippers broke.
then an auntie who walked pass me told me 'girl ah, you leg is bleeding!' .
then i realised how terrible that fall is.
not only my leg, my toes were bleeding too...
damn. wad a day.
my whole leg was in pain but i didnt show signs of me being in pain.
because i knw there is no point to scream out or cry out loud.
endure with it, put on a strong front like i always do...

Feeling disheartened again..
Why do I always find is proj so hard to do!?!
Stuck doing dm for one whole day.
Thank goodness my friend came and help out, if not, I think qh and I might just hug each other and cry. Lol
Persevere! I must get 3.4 and above!
Get my acct second major!
Jiayou! The road ahead might be tough but hang in there.
Miracles will happen.
I thank god for my lab one results...

Damn pissed at church today.
Cause my friend commented that smu ppl are proud ppl and im one.
I was asking my friend what course she was intending to go.
She said she wanted to go social Sci when her gp just passed so I told her its impossible to get it. Then she said her second choice was Sci and I went huh? In the end I realize she was mentioning abt my course which is totally not a Sci course at all!
So I told her this course is tough and hard to score.
Another friend joined in the conver saying that i was insulting her by saying that the course is hard and tough and she can't survive there and that smu ppl are smart n proud but that doesn't give me the right to look down on others.
WA. I felt so wronged! But if she wanna infer it that way i have nth to say. My main intention was to help her make the right choice and nth else. I know im blunt and frank at words but that's me, i dont have evil intentions when i say anything.
i knew the other friend dont really like me from the start cause she always say i belong to the smart ppl whom she are hard to interact with just because im from jc..
Argh! I hate it when ppl put words into my mouth and insult my character. If being blunt means being proud then i have nth to say...

Went sch for proj again. This wk is a seven day work wk. Tired ttm! There are more things to do, the road will get tougher. I must hang on there...

OOAD's lab test 1 results are OUT!
tempted to, but i promise myself im not going to see my grades.
so that my mood will not get affected and i will not waste time feeling upset over things that i cannot change.
but i dunno why so many ppl came and ask me abt my grades this time round.
i gave them the same thing i told myself, i will NOT check my grades.
believe it or not..
Next wk is gonna be the HELL wk, the worse wk ever!
Press On. I can do it!
Never let failure stop you, do not fear anything apart from the LORD your GOD

I think the midnight oil that I have burnt is causing my health to be weaker.
Gonna fall sick soon..
Why can't god make me stronger !?!

Meetings after meetings after meetings today.
It seems like meetings are endless aren't they?
This is the first time im gonna hate my birthday for my entire life.
NEVER do I have so many things to do on my b'day.
Now not only bgs, I also have ooad mtg.
Which means I need to cancel my tuition for next fri..
It seems that I can't survive with so many things to do.
Now I can't seem to understand stats too.
Im still thinking abt summer break cause I have to pay additional 900.
But i really wanna be less stressful.
Maybe i shld stop thinking abt money but use it as an investment which might give me better gpa and a better life.

I told myself during the period of lent I would fast.
Fast from calc my results,
Fast from playing hp games,
I told myself I tried my best,
Told myself I can do it,
Told myself i won't cry over results
Told myself no matter how tough uni is im going to survive these four years,
But why do I feel like telling myself im such a complete failure.
It just seems as though I can't get anything right,
Can't do well in any mods... Why?
Tears start forming but I forbid them to fall.
God, why do u give me so many trials?
Can u pls guide me through? Shed me some light and let miracles happen.
My faith for u shall nvr die. I will hold on, till the day u come

I need to thank the ppl who consoled me saying that they didn't write name on their exam scripts too...
got back stats and econs mcq results. Initially I thought it was not bad, but when I saw other friends who got better marks and that my results could have been better if im not so careless, I got a bit sad.
I dont dare to set expectation for my gpa this sem,
Cause I know no matter what I get, I might not feel satisfied.
Oh well, sadness only last for a while. Its alright, things will be fine and life just goes on...

Looking at my schedule I see a lot of tests coming up.
But deep down I know im still slacking!
Argh. Buck up Madeline.
Find the motivation to study.
U need to do well, u have to!
I think the ooad latest just destroyed my motivation.
Cause I studied hard yet screw it up.
Will studying really help ?

Ur parents don't have to know com.
If there is one relative that knows how to use com, they will still be able to find out what u wrote on fb..
My aunt saw my fb status and went to tell my mum what happened to my test ytd.
Instead of consoling me my mum was questioning me how come her daughter who is smart enough to go uni still can make this kind of stupid mistake.
So much for trying to forget what happened ytd and they reminded me of what happened..
Hias. Oh well, life still goes on.
I shall live everything to god.

im such a failure.
feel so much like crying now.
how can someone be as stupid as me to commit such a STUPID mistake?!?
to think that i wana prove others wrong.
others are not wrong, i am wrong.
name.. how can someone forget to write name on the exam script!
madeline u are so so so dumb.

Looking at ppl getting bk their a lvl results it just reminded me of myself,
I spent three days crying over results.
Seems silly huh. Cause im crying over no.
But these no can determine my future. Lol.
Forget the past and move on.
I will not let history repeat itself again.
Im not gonna give myself a chance to cry over results.

I think my bgs Prof loves me.
That's why he is giving me the best b'day gift.
By putting both the minor proj deadline and my major presentation both on my b'day.
Not to mention the ooad lab test two after my b'day.
Looks like im gonna spend my 20th with bgs and ooad.
Thanks smu... Its gonna be memorable.

Why do I find celebrating b'day a chore nowadays.
Is it so diff to celebrate someone's bday?
All it take is for everyone to find 2-3 hours off, sit down together and have a good meal, get a good cake. That's all.
Is it too much to ask for?
I don't ask for fanciful gifts,
Just something that is given from the heart.
I dunno if this simple wish of my can be fulfilled...
Work since to become the priority of everyone's life now.
It makes it harder for friends to meet up and catch up with one another.
Im always trying to make the effort.
But now im weary of it.
Maybe we shld just transfer the money to our friends on their b'day.
This might make things much easier...
But. The sincerity and purpose of celebrating b'day is gone.

hias, another cui results..
nothing special though.
i just hope, just pray that i can get above 3.2 for GPA.
Please GOD, let my efforts pay off.
i know i might have been slacking quite a lot,
but seriously, i am determined to work hard now.
let me know the efforts that i have put in are not wasted so that i can continue working harder.
MAD can do it, yes i can.

Finally the last midterm paper is over!!!
It feels as though I just dump a huge rock off my shoulders.
Be it good or bad, im just gonna accept the results given by god.
Its all in his plan, his will.
Had a nice time today.
Nice lunch and dinner.
If i had to choose, today will be the best day of this sem.

i dunno why so many ppl wanna matchmake me.
Looks like a lot of ppl wanna see me attached but I think its quite impossible.
i didnt know that my friends see as their top,
But to me, i really think i shld be at the bottom.
Cause im not as good as they think.
i feel bad cause i lied about the ranking..
But im happy though cause im being praised for the first time:)