I think 2010 is a year of failure for me.
seems like nothing is going smooth isnt it?
hias, i failed my driving test.
i wasnt sad abt the failing part,
wad makes me sad was the part where i felt i didnt do my best.
Maybe things would be better if time would repeat itself...
maybe, maybe...
but hell, the reality is that everything is over alr.
lost my chance so i need to wait for 2 more mths!
and waste more money=(
abide to GOD's will, it must be HIS purpose that i didnt pass.
I WILL WORK HARDER!

today is the BIG day.
with so many ppl knowing that im gg for my driving test,
i'm soooooooooooo anxious! argh!
so scared if i cant pass. that will be embarassing!!!
well, as one grows up, there are more things to consider,
more things to take charge of,
more things to worry about,
come to think abt it,
why did we yearn to grow up when we were young?

Yes! MY INTERNET IS FINALLY WORKING~ ^^
i spent this wk with joy because i was able to meet up with a lot of friends.
though all these meetings burnt a great hole in my pocket,
i think i enjoyed my days and this is all that counts!
my driving test is coming on tue!
oh my, i hope, i wish and i want to pass!!! ><
now i must start to think of how to save money for my trip!
money money, pls fall from the sky!
(sounds familiar hor ning?) =D

It is said that after every storm, there will be a rainbow.
if this is true, i would have seen plenty of rainbow.
cause in my family, there are plenty of storms.
they can fight over many things,
even small things like putting A's towel on B's towel can cause the whole world to turn upside down! lols!
oh well, i like sundays,
going to church makes me feel good.
cause i can ask GOD to share my heavy burden with me=D
guy's night turn out to be nice too=D
thanks to the LORD=DD
wanted to catch toy story 3 today but didnt.
looking at my schedule this wk it seems rather packed, dunno why?
i wana watch karate kid and toy story 3!!!
cant wait to meet my friends up.
and hopefully this wk will turn out to be great~ ! =DDD

OH WELL, DONT BOTHER!
i seriously dont seem to understand human nature anymore.
i felt like a transparent person today.
when i wana contribute my part, there was nth i could do.
sometimes i just think living is such a chore.
but it would be ignorant to end a life.
maybe GOD just like to bring ppl to test,
but sometimes, we are too tired to be tested anymore.
ENOUGH!
when can all these nonsense stop?
who can help to talk some sense for this matter?
there are seriously times when i wish i was a mute, a deaf or a blind.
the world is full of complications, too much tt i can handle.
so much that im totally turned off.
i no longer see rainbows.
my life is filled with black and white...

After deep considerations, i've decided to remain jobless.
this decision might sound funny though, cause i need money for a lot of things...
sch fees, pocket money, driving fees, hols fee...
maybe thats why im always complaining of being broke. lols!
maybe if there are one or two day kind of events job i'll take it up,
to make up bits of money for what i've spent. haha!
humans are funny creatures,
because we are frequently living in our own world,
being idealistic and self-centred,
the world has started to evolve into a nightmare.
ppl are losing their morales.
after 10 years of compulsory education, what did we learn?
apart from eng, math, chinese and sci...
what are the knowledge that we have gotten out of all these?
i see my uncles and aunties complaining abt my grandma's hospital bills.
the irony is that my grandma is the one paying it!
cause non of them are willing to pay for her.
to quote the funny thing that my mum mentioned.
" Ur grandma brought up 12 kids together with ur grandpa,
now the 12 kids cannt even provide for the 2 of them!"
Isn't this just a joke?
dont tell me 12 person will earn less income than wad my grandpa earned while he worked alone to feed them.
Come to think of it, did the sch really thought us to be fillial?


THANK YOU DEAR SISTER FOR UR M&Ms=DDD U ARE THE BEST!
*she asked me to acknowledge her m&m in my blog. lols!

Because I'm weary...
this is a korean song from GOS,
i like listening to this song nowadays cause it depicts my mood.
i'm not a person of speech.
be it hw chatty i am, i'm the kind of person who likes to bottle up emotions inside me, hide it so that no one would notice.
covering myself with an invincible mask has got me tired.
deep down, i'm just like any other girl,
yearning for protection, longing for ppl to understand me.
the world of politics has gotten me tired.
Sometimes i kept quiet, not because i dont have my views or opinions,
but because i wana save the trouble of getting into a huge fight,
or avoid getting into quarrels.
even the kindest person on earth yearns to be evil jus for a day.
Happy go lucky as i may seem, i think a lot.
i like to help out silently, but that causes everyone to take me for granted.
Ask my friends how i keep my wkends off just to have a simple dinner with my parents, how i'm trying to save up to pay for my own uni fees to help lessen their workload, and how hard im trying to pass my driving so that when my dad is tired, i can help him out to drive my family members home.
i'm doing all these to get accredited by my mum as an unfilial daughter... ...
I keep my sat nights for my cousin, trying hard to stay awake to wait for their arrival to my hse, allow my mum to scold me whenever they come, what i got was a fight with my cousin saying that i didnt stand up for them when my mum was quarrelling with her, saying that they should not come to my hse every wk.
u think i would like to keep quiet? i jus didnt wana argue with my mum.
I tried planning gatherings for my friends, but everytime someone wld fly the aeroplane. Fancy giving u the date months in advance, still i can get the ans of oh i cannt make it.
Saying that we will look for jobs together, yet one by one my friends abandoned me once they found a job. I'm fine with u gettin a job, but can u stop showing off hw gd ur job is in front of me?

Put urself in my shoe, u think it is easy to be a nice person?
If i'm too nice until everyone gets overboard, let me tell u.
Even the calmest ocean can become a tsunami someday.
I didnt voice out a lot of things,
not because im an easy target for u to bully,
but because i respect my family, my friends
so i chose to remain silent, to do things in the dark.
what i really hope is that ppl can appreciate wad i do. Can you?

The free time i had puts me thinking,
maybe we always complain, but we dont do anything to change facts.
K.rachel posted something on fb today which puts meaning to my mind.
It says that an adult elephant has the ability to break away from the rope that it has been tied with, but it didnt.
Has anyone ever wondered why?


Well, the trainer says that the elephant has been tied with the rope when it was still a baby elephant who is weak and unable to escape.
despite growing up over the years,
even when it enters a stage of being an adult elephant,
it still has the thinking that it is unable to break free from the rope.


Isn't this so true to most of us, or me perhaps?
Many times in life, we complain about how unfair life is.
Don't we all know that the children in Kenya survive on less than a dollar a day?
We have shelter, clothes to wear, food to eat.
why do we always complain that we are poor?
The fact is we are poor mentally, not financially.
The world that we are brought up with cultivates our mind to think that money is everything, without money u are nothing.
we are also constantly bombarded with new devices, better phones, bags, clothes etc.
Most importanly, we grew up in an environment that has no lack of complains.
So we are always trying to make lives better, trying to earn more money,
but no matter how much u earn, u will nvr be satisfied.
because we, like the elephants have grown up with the mentality in mind.
we will nvr have sufficient money, we will nvr be satisfied with lives.
we will jus continue to complain till the day we die.
instead of wasting time to complain,
why not learn to change your mentality, know how fortunate we are.
dont always take things for granted.
life is always fair, its only how u see it.

sometimes i'm tired of being a nice person.
why cant ppl try to accommodate others but always expect others to accommodate to them?
"Practise what you preach"
we know the meaning of this phrase, but do we put it to practise?
frequently giving in to others has gotten me tired,
I treat my friends nicely becoz i expect the same return.
dont expect me to always follow your plans,
because i also have my own plans.
i cant always try to accommodate others,
because when they get used to it,
they seems to take me for granted.

TREASURE what you have before you lose it.
we all know this phrase too, but have we learnt to start treasuring things ard us?

I'm back on my starting line once over again.
back to the job searching days.
it seems like im a bad decision maker, someone who dosent know how to make a right choice which cause me to end up with many regrets in life...
im also a coward, someone who dosent dare to speak up for her rights.
i dont like to argue with ppl, so i chose to keep quiet.
even if my opinions are ignored, i wont fight for myself.
sometimes i jus wana try and be the bad guy,
but i always end up to be the one who give in all the time.
in a world where most ppl are self-centered,
giving in to others always put me at a losing end.
cause end up i'm the one suffering, when no one noticed.
i'm glad i still stick to some stands,
if not either i might be buying a petrol as gift for my father or i might be visiting temples with my friend in hk.
why do ppl make all these requests when they knw i cant fulfil it for them?

饮水思源.
do all humans really understand the true meaning of this phrase?
I've seen and heard things that made me understand the cruelity of humanity.
How money can cause ppl to lose regards to kinship.
have their consience been eaten by the dog?!?
treat others the way u want them to treat u.
this is wad the LORD taught me.
i always told myself, the world is full of love.
but it seems as though im the only one who is stuck in the fairytale world.
accding to a senior in church, singapore has the lowest rate of children who is willing to provide for their parents when they grow up.
why is that so?
do ppl forget who was the one who gave birth to them?
who was the one who provided their needs: food, education etc...
u might not be able to live a life that u want,
but that does not give u the rights to forget who were the ppl who provided u till who u are today!
think and reflect abt it...

OH NO! my voice is changing...
all jas's fault! haha!
anw i've alr quit my prev job.
sounds funny huh?
i shld hung on to this job like crazy, since i need money for the trip.
but i decided not to torture my throat.
and not to waste the boss money, since i wasnt doin much.
but WINSON IS THE BEST BOSS I'VE MET!
anw i have to thank my dad also,
though he nvr talk to me very often.
he is always there to lend a hand for financial help.
jus like my uni fees. hehe.
i thank GOD for putting these ppl ard me.
and i hope that my grandma will get discharged soon.
and my voice, pls come back soon!